Woe is me for I am sick of heart.

I don't know where that comes from but it keeps running through my head. I suppose it's the grown up version of "Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Think I'll go and eat worms." Which was the recurring thought that haunted my childhood.

I find myself living in an implausable alternative reality. I never expected to be a Mother and now I am I find that I'm strapped to the wheel of time. I find that I'm part of a genetic chain stretching back through my Mother and Grandmother and forward through my daughter and son. My mind keeps rebelling aginst the whole unlikelieness of it all.