It's strange how these things can come on you suddenly. I was so angry last night I just had to get out. I wandered round the dark, freezing, wet streets for half an hour before I gave up and went home to watch TV.

I was angry because I never get to be angry anymore. I never get to rail and shout and throw things. I can't even say what I real feel. My beloved seems to be taking up all the angry room. There's no space for me to be angry in. It's particularly unfair because he's not really very good at being angry. He doesn't enjoy it and he can't control it. He's just not comfortable with it. Which is probably why he's so damn angry all the time.

I know it's just the stress and the guilt and all that new parent stuff. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I have to keep biting my tongue because everything I say sounds like an attack to him. A question becomes an accusation. A statement becomes a challenge. And the worst thing is he's not even enjoying it. I know people who would be having a whale of a time if they were acting like him. He just feels even more guilty.

I can't even stay properly angry at him for long. I don't have room to.