Parenthood

Let me tell you about parenthood, well, motherhood - I've never been a father. The very first thing that happens to you when you give birth, after they give you your new baby to hold, and while you are exhausted and full of weird hormones is that the midwife asks you two questions. These questions make no sense at all unless you have done some pre-labour research and there is no obvious right or wrong answers. The questions are:

"Do you want a managed third stage?" and
"Do you want your baby to have a vitamin K injection?"

Now women gave birth for millions of years without either of these. On the other hand there's no reason why you shouldn't have them. A 'managed third stage' is an injection that makes the placenta detach and your womb contract so it can be delivered easily. Vitamin K is something that babies apparently need. They did tell me what babies need it for but I was off my face on endorphins and entonox at the time. They have to ask if you want it because the preliminary report into an Australian study a few years ago suggested that the injection might be bad. The final report said that it wasn't bad and on the contrary was good.

So that's motherhood. Being asked incomprehensible questions with no 'right' answer by someone who probably knows better than you do while you're exhausted and preoccupied.